


Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Footnotes

by Gement



Series: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Magic [2]
Category: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead - Stoppard
Genre: Footnotes, Gen, Librarian Problems, M/M, Meta, Multi, Writing about Writing about Writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-19 10:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2385791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gement/pseuds/Gement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Author's notes to accompany <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755">Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Magic</a>. If you read this first, you are a very silly person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scenes I.i through II.iii

### Writing These Clowns for You Clowns

I've tried to make this story accessible to people who have maybe seen the movie once and mostly remember "Heads" and that there was a puppet show at some point, and enjoy big crack crossovers on principle.

I've tried to make this story _really rewarding_ for people who can quote along and also like obscure jokes about cartoon shows and musical theater. Count the dumbshows. I've matched the movie beats throughout Act II.

If you're diving in without having read or seen the source material, you have my admiration, but I do fear for you. (And I'll be fascinated if you care to leave a comment telling me what that's like.)

If you're interested but want to read the source first, most public or academic libraries should have the play script, and many will have the movie DVD. The movie is sometimes on Netflix Streaming but hasn't been lately (boooooo), but is available for legal digital purchase through various sources. The film script is out of print, but in stock from Powell's Books or Amazon.

Act 1 is primarily informed by the play script, Act 2 by the movie script and movie, Act 3 as an exercise for the reader.

I've taken liberties. For example, in Act I, the screen offers lines from the play which did not appear in the movie. In Act II, there are references such as toe licking and unicorns which only appear in the play. If you object to this on grounds of artistic purity, you are reading the wrong piece of literature.

###  [I.i: Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/4376271)

"Two of Clubs.": Every time I refer to card suits or specific cards, you may safely presume I have considered the Homestuck significance of my choice. 

###  [I.ii: 'Til Then](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/4567074)

HORATIO: This character was heavily inspired by [Gulliver](http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Lemuel_Gulliver) in Dr. Who's _The Mind Robbers_ , who could speak only in lines from Gulliver's Travels.

His speech is as close to 'that Shakespearean rag' as I can mangle, which means pentameter, usually iambic, except for specific exclamations for emphasis. Phrases starting with an indent imply he is finishing someone else's pentameter. It's not his fault they're all doing it wrong. 

"In Hamlet we've a friend": 'Hamlet sincerely names only a few people friend in the text of the play: Horatio "Sir, my good friend," R&G "My excellent good friends," and the Player "O, my old friend," thus establishing an elegant symmetry.' — [theonlytwin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/theonlytwin)

###  [I.iii: Question and Answer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/4764345)

Han Solo and Chewbacca masks: Yes, they should have been C3PO and R2D2, but those would not have been as compelling to R&G as a taste of heroism, and the moral parallel is interesting. 

"Thou wretch, Corruptor, all you touch goes ill!": [Thee/Thou vs. You](http://alt-usage-english.org/pronoun_paradigms.html) in Early Modern English. Horatio uses both for the Player, even in the same sentence, but I am assured that is valid in the emotionally conflicted sense of " _Mister_ Darcy." And it made the meter scan better. So sue me. 

"Our patrons in the box will have their say": In the _comment_ box. I crack myself up. But seriously, the biggest points of this story are multiple narratives and the nature of fan engagement, so I hope my readers will feel free to keep chewing on the trickier elements with me. 

###  [II.i: Delve](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/4948524)

PROSPERO: In addition to being a magician with a canonical love of books, Prospero places himself in a morally murky-to-despicable position to set up his daughter with a less isolated and more powerful situation. Magically potent surrogate fathers sure are a thing in literature. 

P.S. I heartily enjoyed [Helen Mirren's 2010 performance as Prospera](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1274300/). (Fair warning on Tempest, though, it's got one of Shakespeare's more actively racist subplots.) 

"proved too close a fit": Just in case we weren't clear on the exact nature of Timon and Pumbaa, Disney honest to god made an R&G homage that leaves the fourth wall in glittering shards on the floor: [Lion King 1-1/2](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0318403/)

###  [II.ii: So to Speak](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/5117855)

somewhere between a pin-up and crucifixion: [Poster for Equus](http://s112.photobucket.com/user/djradblogsite/media/equus_poster-1.jpg.html), a stage play with full nudity and violent sexual themes, starring Harry Potter actor Daniel Radcliffe at age 17. 

"You were my godfather for a while. We hardly ever messed about.": Gary Oldman played the movie versions of Sirius Black and Rosencrantz. As of writing, [Sirius Black/Harry Potter](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Sirius%20Black*s*Harry%20Potter/works) had 184 fics on AO3, not including triads, out of 52k [Potterverse](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Harry%20Potter%20-%20J*d*%20K*d*%20Rowling/works) fics. 

"I've never made it with Fred and George in here.": [Harry/Fred/George](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Harry%20Potter*s*Fred%20Weasley*s*George%20Weasley/works) had 58 fics on AO3, and none of the summaries mentioned the Prefects' Bathroom. I am happy to correct this footnote with links if anyone has a recommendation. 

By the way, that means Sirius Black is getting three times as much action with Harry as the twins are. 

"Then why you try to _play_ me like a flute?": [Hamlet Act 3, Scene 2](http://shakespeare-navigators.com/hamlet/H32.html), lines 345-372. Hamlet tells Guildenstern to play the recorder, which he cannot. _"'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?"_

I cannot read this without hearing Jules terrorizing the suitcase thieves in Pulp Fiction. 

"tasteful memorial": Opinions seem divided between "It will always be too soon" and "I couldn't stop laughing." All I know is that's what happened when I sent Fozzie to find a skull. In retrospect, _"He hath borne me on his back a thousand times"_ is eerily fitting. 

If you want to bawl all over yourself, [The Muppets Celebrate Jim Henson](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0251874/) is still available on Youtube. 

Also, David Tennant notably played Hamlet against [an actual human skull by the donor's posthumous request](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3519640/Pianists-dying-wish-fulfilled-as-David-Tennant-uses-his-skull-in-Hamlet-performance.html). 

###  [II.iii: A Mystical Experience Shared by Everyone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/5272109)

microcassette: The MacGuffin in the X-Files Season 2 cliffhanger was described as a "DAT tape" or "digital tape" ([Digital Audio Tape](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Digital_Audio_Tape)). The prop was [apparently a QIC](http://x-files.host.sk/nitpick3.php) ([Quarter-inch Cartridge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-inch_cartridge)), and I can find very little to visually distinguish either from a [Microcassette](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microcassette), which is the term people are most likely to connect to a mental image. 

In short, I do way too much research, and if you remember the show well enough to catch that I didn't call it a DAT, I salute you. 

"Gillyflower": My only prior exposure to the word Gillyflower was a song in Sweeney Todd. When it volunteered itself as Guildenstern's pony name, I finally looked it up. It's a regional name for pink carnations. Hence Gillyflower's colour scheme. Hence the inevitable hilarity when other ponies try to remember which one is Rosie Pants, whose colour scheme has no justification whatsoever. 

"common experience... I wanted something once.": In R&G Are Dead (play), Guildenstern, discussing the difference between the mundane and the extraordinary, uses the example of a unicorn, which is wondrous if seen by one or two people, but bows to reality and becomes a mere horse with an arrow in its forehead if a whole crowd shows up. The last line of the thought is a wistful, "It would have been nice to have unicorns." 

Congratulations, Guildenstern, have a universe where unicorns are mundane. Oh wait, you can't tell the difference. Because it's mundane. Lulz. 


	2. Scenes II.iv through II.vi

###  [Act II, Scene iv: Device](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/5463566/)

The Emcee in Cabaret has been defined by two notable performances: Joel Gray (a small man in a tuxedo) and Alan Cumming (a tall shirtless man in suspenders and leather pants).

The Hills Are Alive with a Southerly Wind: Weimar cabaret was (among many other things) shamelessly lewd, politically activist, cynically fatalistic, very Jewish, and very gay. I'd say 'check out some videos' but very few recordings survived WWII for obvious reasons.

As a side note, people tend to forget how many Nazis were in The Sound of Music.

Two Ladies: Pulled directly from Cabaret with no need for alteration, except to add the barrels from the third act set of R&G Are Dead (play).

Poker Face: I was thinking particularly of Lady Gaga's April '09 [acoustic performance for BBC Radio 1 Live Lounge](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDCDHCOn1l8). It's delicious. Direct substitution for "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" from Moulin Rouge/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

P.S. The [Rihanna Swarovski dress [slightly NSFW]](http://arts.nationalpost.com/2014/06/03/rihanna-leaves-little-if-anything-to-the-imagination-in-sheer-swarovski-gown-at-the-cfda-awards/) hit the media after I wrote this, but please feel free to assume Alfred looks like Rihanna, because yow.

Big Spender: This was almost Pet Shop Boys' "Rent" (about a rentboy), but then someone reminded me that Sweet Charity existed and was fundamental to the motif here. Did you know that both Queen and [Tom Waits](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rw23jrVqug) have performed Big Spender? I did not until I wrote this footnote. Tom Waits makes a pretty great rentboy Guildenstern. Direct substitution for "Money" from Cabaret.

Tainted Love: Soft Cell's debut album, containing Tainted Love, is called [Non-Stop Erotic Cabaret](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Stop_Erotic_Cabaret), which I took as a Sign to stop my dithering. (I dithered for months over what song to give Ophelia.) I imagine this rendition sounding closer to the original performance by [Gloria Jones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IpYc4X0Mds). Direct substitution for "All That Jazz" from Chicago and slant substitution for "Mein Herr" from Cabaret.

orange jumpsuit: I have dodged the Joel/Mike conflicts in MST3K fandom by giving Horatio a third color of jumpsuit. The fact that this leaves room for a Portal reference is... okay, totally on purpose.

###  [Act II, Scene v: Within a Play](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2017755/chapters/5639861)

The Forgotten Men: Given my very peculiar plot constraints, I had to write a particular fic and then riff it. While I hope [The Forgotten Men](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2536907/) holds up on its own, it's truly satisfying to take your own writing and point at every glaring flaw that you can find, screaming, "Look what I did there," but using funny robot puppets. 

"'Tis some other band.": Daft Punk. The gold one has the fan nickname of Guy-man or G-man. 

Turtley: A real stuffed animal who was happy to play a cameo in this fic. Tummy rubs were provided. 

"This ship needed a therapist.": This is the only direct reference I make to the full ST:TNG-as-Hamlet fancast I developed for this fic. You now know Ophelia. Write your own! 

The Men Everyone Wanted to Go Away: A sequel to [Waiting for Gorgo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8fjM6xrFCA), which I only discovered after I'd written it. 

"What did I say about playing with the Medusa Transducer?": I cannot be the first to rise to the Rocky Horror bait of B-movie mad scientists named Dr. F and Frank, one of which even wears green lab attire. The only trick was avoiding any appearance of cheap shots. Pro tip: If unexpected drag or body type is the punchline, find another punchline. 

**Author's Note:**

> Footnotes updated one update (two weeks) after chapter release, to encourage discussion and revelation in the chapter comments. Complete list of throwaway references will only appear after completion to give everyone a chance at the guessing game.
> 
> Yes, this is a shameless ploy for comments. I need your grist to grind my mill. Feed me, Seymour.


End file.
